Well it’s been one of those stretchesin life where I’ve been reminded several times that im getting old. I Get those little fellas at the grocery store who ask”can i help you to your car with those sir?” and I think, what the hell are they asking me that for, and yet I think that would be nice cause my backand shoulder won’t hurt after i get to the car from carrying them myself! Or I sometimes I just think it’s to much of a hassle to get up early on the weekend and put on my swim suit and lay out at the pool. Just seems like to much effort for nothing.

       It seems like there isn’t a day where I don’t wake up and have  ache or a pain, or a sore spot on my body that wasn’t there, or how it seems like slip on shoes aren’t such a bad ide. Am I getting old or just tired?

        I think  it’s a little of both. I mean I’m not a spring chicken anymore and after a life of being a clutzy accident prone person who’s broken lots of bones,had a host of injuries pages long, suffers froma variety of allergies inner ear problems, infections, and various other strange afflictions I guess all those things have taken a toll on me. I kind of half expected the physical problems to become a issue at this point in my life. But why am I so Menatlly and emotionally tired? Some people are more sensitive than others and I would say I’m in that catagory. I would also say I’ve been one of those people who is easy to take advantage of and I can’t seem to toughen up and be more of a fighter for myself. I’ve been screwed over and taken to the cleaners more times by people than I can even count. I don’t mean to be that way, Ijust don’t like to fight and get into confrontations all the time I don’t seem to stand up and fight for things like I’d like to be able too. But one big reason is that the few times I’ve tried be my own advocate I seem to make things worse for myself even though I’m in the right I end up on the short end of the stick. I can never seem to win a battle  even when I’m in the right.

      Ok well you all must think I’m one pathetic self absorbed whiny ass hole reading all this. just saying life isn’t always what you make of it, and fighting for what you believe in doesn’t always make scense and I finally have started to understand why some people become cynical and mistrusting of there fellow man as they get older. They have plenty of good valid reasons to feel that way. I think we should all try not to feel that way, but I’m closer to excepting and understanding those who do feel that way!